Welcome Back HerSpace in her happy place.
A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.By Thomas Mann
When I read his quote I felt it immediately, and understood what it had to say. After not writing anything for a whole year I knew how difficult it is to write something when you are not feeling like doing it. I hated every movement when I was not able to write as when I started writing it was and is my comfort, my run away from all the worries, but this past year I have not even written a single thing. I know my blog is not reaching a lot of people but I feel happy writing for it. This is who I am. Yes it is sometimes difficult for me to put my thoughts in words but I guess everyone goes with this phase now and then.
Writing this piece has also been difficult for me but I am pushing myself to do this, only then I will be able to go back to my writing space. The space that I love, which gives me peace.
This last year has been difficult for me in all aspects of life like all of us. This pandemic has hit all of us in some or the other way.
Last year in 2020 I came back from Delhi to Gujarat (Where my family stays) in search of a better opportunity in Mumbai. As I always wanted to work in the Event & Entertainment Industry, Mumbai is a city which would help me to work in this field. So in search of finding my passion I left my Job in Delhi and came back. But who knew that we were going to get hit by this pandemic.
It was a difficult year and even this year is much more difficult.
This pandemic has not just taken away a year or two from my professional life but it has been hard for me in terms of finance and health as well. Kicking my ass off to work hard and earn more to be financially stable in the Covid-19 situation was important and the only option which was left with me. I had to go back to the industry where I didn’t belong though I liked the work which I am doing but the industry is not for me I guess. Getting settled financially felt good but a void is still there inside me. As the year passes it will be difficult for me to get a job in the industry I love but you have to do what needs to be done looking at the situation.
Life is hard and you have to fight back with all the strength you have but sometimes it is advisable to lose a small fight to focus on winning the big fight.
A roller coaster was going inside me this whole time. A fear that I don’t want to face is taking all that is inside me and it is somewhat tearing down my inner peace. I know it’s all negative in the outside world and here I am also speaking about failure, fear and unhappiness. But until and unless we don’t face the present we can’t feel happy in the future or say we won’t be able to face the real problems when they are knocking on our door. I feel like crying when I am writing this but I am trying hard not to go in the phase I was in almost 2 years back. Where every feeling I had was of failure and anxiety. I felt the same last year when pandemic hit us and it was setting down slowing by the end of the year but eventually the start of the second wave has shoke my inner peace once again and with all the things going on in my personal life I feel anxiety is hitting me again but I don’t want it to cause me any damage which is why I started to write again and before I write anything else an explanation of being missing was important.
It is like because of all that is happening we all are running and running.But you know what I don’t want to run anymore eventually I am not able to do it. I want to stop but something is not letting me stop even when I feel exhausted mentally.
Do you feel the same? If yes, What do you do to let this feeling go away?
Anyway, let’s talk about something fun now to calm this tense atmosphere.
You know what this pandemic has given us in a good way.
The time that we have spent with our family and loved ones. We have always prioritized our work and kept ignoring our people but last year was a little break from work and lots and lots of time with the family which was missed all this year because of work or study. It felt like reconnecting with our people, so many memories of childhood flashed back, the summer holidays when all the family members sat together and played indoor games, ate mangoes and watched Bollywood movies.
And I have eventually started reading more and my resolution for reading 12 books for 2020 was successfully completed which I am really proud of. My journey with reading and writing has been great and I want to grow in this field more and achieve my goals.
Also I want to add that I am planning some new things to do and hoping that I achieve them by the end of this year. Will be sharing about it soon when all things are done but until then we will be meeting here with new and interesting write ups.
If you are loving my write ups then do follow my blog for new articles and welcome herspace back to her zone that will inspire me to write more and more. Also do share the articles which you love with your loved ones. I hope I have made at least one of you smile.